Last Wed I received an apologetic email notifying me that "my" internship was not going to happen. I call it mine, because if there was money I would so be there. Immediately after responding to the email, I decided to communicate with my next option, which I hadn't heard from since February and hadn't responded to because they said they would contact me when the mycologist came back into town. By Friday, I had contacted a professor over an internship with invasive species at MSU, and by Monday I had heard back in the first response that I didn't fit the profile because I wouldn't be an MSU student in the fall. By Monday afternoon, I had heard from my bible study leader Julie, questioning why I had started a summer project application and not turned it in. My life was pretty stressful at that point. So, I told her I was still interested since my other options were seeming unlikely and I hadn't heard back from the mycologist yet. After deciding to work on my application for Summer Project again, only a month late, I heard back from the Invasive Species lady saying yes, they would afterall look at my resume.
By that point, I was more interested in the Summer Project to anywhere, maybe because it would be a guaranteed job, maybe because God laid it on my heart. I filled in the app, sent out referrals to be completed, and talked to my parents, which was no less difficult than I thought it would be. With little details on the project availability I was setting myself up for a tough discussion, and I went to bed thinking - according to my mother, this is impractical for packing and getting to Penn State, and according to my dad, I had a laundry list of things to do before I could go anywhere. I had some tears Monday but woke up with a full spirit and was ready to look into my options.
Yesterday, I found out the dates, found out the availability, and asked for my referrals. Last night I sent out my application. Julie reminded me of Galatians 1:10
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Today, I've had anxious thoughts about getting my referrals in, as well as hearing back from the mushroom company. I just heard back from Kaolin Farms in PA, and after setting up this project and being prepared to raise money for it, I just can't see myself being ok with being rid of my Month off to pack and the remaining time for God.
The problem with working at an internship, is it prepares you for real life. A real job. It doesn't prepare you for grad school. When confidence not from God enters into your life, grades go downhill because you think your job experience made you to be perfect for grad school. Without it, I feel my confidence will be in Christ and my dedication will be for Him.
Revelation 8:
- Verse 1 made me laugh. At the opening of the 7th and final seal- seemingly like an acceptance letter- there was silence for half an hour. Who knew time could be passed down that way back then? I can't imagine Jesus wearing a watch.
- Seven angels with trumpets stood before God.
- Another angel had a golden censer ( for incense) and it was filled at the altar. The smoke and prayers went up to God from the angel's hand.
- The angel filled the censer with fire and hurled it at the earth, producing an earthquake, lightning, and thunder
- Some believe the earthquake in Japan symbolized the beginning of the end.
- the angels prepared to sound their trumpets
- with the first trumpet sound came hail and fire with blood hurled down to earth.
- 1/3 of the earth burned up
- a third of the trees burned up
- all green grass was burned up
- At the second trumpet, a huge mountain like thing was thrown on fire into the sea.
- 1/3 of the sea was turned into blood, a third of the sea creatures died, and a third of ships were destroyed
- At the third trumpet, a great blazing star named Wormwood fell from the sky like a torch onto a third of the rivers and springs. A third of the waters turned bitter, resulting in many deaths.
- At the fourth trumpet, a third of the sun, moon, and stars turned black. A third of the day and night was without light.
image ref: http://www.earlywomenmasters.net/dickinson/a_garden_tis/sanctity/censor_bookshelf.jpg
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