An Easter poem

With love Jesus bound
His body to a tree
His perfection the battle ground
Kneeling to God did He.
The thorns and needles took
His skin of bleeding sweat
Through love his surrender shook
Forgiving sinners' repentance.
For lying not in the grave
After 3 days did He
Arise from the dead and save
Lives exponentially.

video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDZU5wZydBo
 Written for my baptism Nov 1 2009:
http://emmie-lynne.deviantart.com/art/Baptism-Poem-142065388

Getting what we want

I was surprised to learn something new at church today when I've heard the story of Christ dying on the cross yet again, but I shouldn't be. Today it was a lesson of the heart. I would like to thank Noel Heikkinen for doing such a great job at opening my heart. The reason I have been unhappy over the last week is due to a feeling of failure I have put on myself to carry the spirit. I had a yearning to be closer to God, but I thought the only way I could do that was through going to Summer Project far away from home. My depression wasn't from displeasing Christ, but from feeling I have disappointed others and would also fail to show Christ's love without proper training. While part of these things are true, I also felt responsible for my family. I couldn't tell my father that I was going to do things my way in order to please God. My earthly family needs my assistance this summer, and to abandon them is a sin.

1 Timothy 5:8

Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 

Therefore, I should not feel guilt or feel overly apologetic for having applied for summer project and having to turn down acceptance. Instead, I should view it and the application process as a time of cleansing:

James 5:16

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. 

God does not make mistakes. I would like to recognize the kindness I received when I felt I was letting Chicago Summer Project down:

Thank you so much for letting me know, Emmie.  I'm sorry you won't be joining us but I do understand how something like this could happen.  I wish you the best and trust with you that God has something sweet in store for your summer.  Please be in touch if anything changes.

~nancy :)

My friend mentioned that her advisor said she was being vague with her life, not choosing something and sticking with it. While dedicating our lives to a passion, it doesn't mean we don't mistakes, and it doesn't mean we spending every waking hour on what we choose will make us any more fit to be successful. My boyfriend warned me of getting burnt out early. I wanted so badly to seek Christ first, and with one disappointment I became lazy and depressed. I missed class on Friday, was late to meet with a friend Friday night, was idle Saturday, and was late for church today. Laziness is a sin.

Proverbs 19:15

Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless go hungry.

What are we going hungry for? Is it a lack of working at a job that results in literal hunger? Is it carelessness in our homework resulting in poor grades? or is it an overall emptiness left by the absence of Christ who we ignore when we choose our way over His? What is satisfying us?

Matthew 19:25

Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

Though this verse makes a generalization about rich people, it also recognizes a satisfaction the wealthy have in their actions. They deem money the root of their success, not in their spiritual contentment found in relying on God.

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.

Ecclesiastes 10:18

Through laziness, the rafters sag; because of idle hands, the house leaks.

So, away from my tangent to key verses I'd like to reflect on in the sermon.

Just a reminder, Jesus knew the old testament well, so he knew what was coming even before his death.

Old testament- before Christ- prophesy of what would happen to Jesus
Psalm 22:14-15
I am poured out like water,  
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax;  
it has melted within me.
My mouth is dried up like a potsherd,  
and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;  
you lay me in the dust of death.

New Testament-Jesus's crucifiction

John 19:28

Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” ²⁹ A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. ³⁰ When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.”
One of Noel's comments was that most Christians view putting the sponge up to Christ's lips as an act of compassion or pity, but after speaking to his friend who knew more of the historical significance of a sponge on a stick, this action can be looked at as mockery or disgrace. In rich people bathrooms back in those times, perfectly shaped holes were made in a concrete slab for sitting on and a hole in the front of the concrete slabs - between the legs- allowed the person to access running water. This running water was used to clean oneself after going to the bathroom.Their long clothing covered them from exposure as all these people would sit in a row with no walls between them. The sponge on a stick was used with the running water by slaves to make a little extra cash by wiping the people's butts. Due to using the same sponge on many people, infection developed and they began using sour wine instead.
Since Jesus spoke I am thirsty to fulfill the prophesy and not to be quenched by mankind, how do you look at Jesus's sacrifice any differently? Noel related sin to taxes, and sin to death, both which are guaranteed by this world. Death is a punishment or tax for sin by God. But through sending Jesus Christ to die for us, we no longer must pay that tax. The bible calls this "Tetelestai" which means "it is finished," Jesus's last words in John 19:30. This was stamped on paid tax papers to show that the tax had been collected. "It is finished" was like Jesus saying "mission accomplished," once for all time. SO, do we represent this picture of Christ? choosing to live for Christ instead of our own desires? Where do we fall when our relationship with our families are analyzed? Do we speak truth at all times? Do we blame others for our own condition?

Deuteronomy 24:16

Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin.

Colossians 2:13-15

When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.



image:

http://www.christianwallpapers.net/wallpapers/crucifixion_of_jesus_christ_with_dramatic_sky_and_lightning-800x600.jpg

Patience, judgement, and love

 Love

Romans 13:8

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.

Judgement
Genesis 31:37

Now that you have searched through all my goods, what have you found that belongs to your household? Put it here in front of your relatives and mine, and let them judge between the two of us.

Forgiveness
John 8:4-8 

and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵ In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” ⁶ They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. ⁷ When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” ⁸ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

Patience

Proverbs 14:29

Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.

Proverbs 19:11

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

A poem of faith

God's given me the spirit to be
A rebel in society for him
A happiness in my place
At home or where I find my space

Help me seek what I must not know
Help me find what I need to grow
Without you Lord I'd never get by
Because the more I live, the harder I try.

I love that God made us each to be individuals, and he gave us the mold to take our place within it (Jesus mold- not fungus), not to fill the entire mold, but to be a part of the wonderful creation it creates.

Accountability

The worst part about being an adult is being held accountable for our actions. When we make promises, or say we are going to do something and then break that promise, we hurt people. At the same time, we hurt God. I have failed at following through on my actions with Summer Project. I applied with a strong will in my heart that I would not let people get between myself and God. And yet, I have failed. May you seek Christ first as always the center of your life so that you may not make the same mistakes as I. Who am I without God?

2 Samuel 22:3

My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
   my shield (sovereign) and the horn (strength) of my salvation.
He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior—
   from violent people you save me. 

2 Corinthians 12:10

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Romans 8:38-39 "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (KJV)

Psalm 61

From the ends of the earth I call to you,
   I call as my heart grows faint;
   lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
³ For you have been my refuge,
   a strong tower against the foe.

 ⁴ I long to dwell in your tent forever
   and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
⁵ For you, God, have heard my vows;
   you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.

 ⁶ Increase the days of the king’s life,
   his years for many generations.
⁷ May he be enthroned in God’s presence forever;
   appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him.

 ⁸ Then I will ever sing in praise of your name
   and fulfill my vows day after day.

Revelation 12, The Woman and the Dragon

 ¹ A great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. ² She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth.  

³ Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its heads. ⁴ Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that it might devour her child the moment he was born. ⁵ 

She birth to a son... who “will rule all the nations with an iron scepter.” And her child was snatched up to God and to his throne. 

• The woman fled into the wilderness provisioned by God for 1,260 days.

...Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back.

• When Satan (the dragon), the devil, lost,  who leads the whole world astray. His angels and him were hurled to Earth

 ¹⁰ Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:

   “Now have come the salvation and the power
   and the kingdom of our God,
   and the authority of his Messiah.
For the accuser of our brothers and sisters,
   who accuses them before our God day and night,
   has been hurled down.
¹¹ They triumphed over him
   by the blood of the Lamb
   and by the word of their testimony;
they did not love their lives so much
   as to shrink from death.
¹² Therefore rejoice, you heavens
   and you who dwell in them!
But woe to the earth and the sea,
   because the devil has gone down to you!
He is filled with fury,
   because he knows that his time is short.”

 ¹³ When the dragon saw that he had been hurled to the earth, he pursued the woman who had given birth to the male child. ¹⁴ The woman was given the two wings of a great eagle, so that she might fly to the place prepared for her in the wilderness, where she would be taken care of for a time, times and half a time, out of the serpent’s reach. ¹⁵ Then from his mouth the serpent spewed water like a river, to overtake the woman and sweep her away with the torrent. ¹⁶ But the earth helped the woman by opening its mouth and swallowing the river that the dragon had spewed out of his mouth. ¹⁷ Then the dragon was enraged at the woman and went off to wage war against the rest of her offspring—those who keep God’s commands and hold fast their testimony about Jesus. 

http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2010/228/e/1/Revelation_12___Final_by_dynnnbag.jpg
http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs22/i/2008/080/b/5/Dragon_of_Revelation_by_Yamis_Girl.jpg

Looking Deeper- Darkness and Light

Today has been interesting. I went to church (The Riverview campus service) and they had a dialogue session afterward that I decided to stay for regarding spiritual gifts given by God after salvation. We went through personality tests, strengths, etc, in order to identify where we might be called by God. Here are a few verses I liked when we covered during dialogues.

James 1:5

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 

and of course my favorite during my freshman year of collage:

Proverbs 3:5-6 (KJV)

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

And a more recent favorite of mine:

Psalm 37:4

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

And a brief analysis of the heart spelled out in the booklet given to us:
> Why I say the things I do:

Matthew 12:34(GN)

The mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

> Why I feel the way I do:

Hebrews 4:13 (Ph)

The Word of God... examines the thoughts and motives of the heart.

> Why I act the way I do:

Proverbs 3:23

Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
And the last question I'd like to cover today regarding this topic
Why has God given each person a unique heartbeat?

Revelation 17:17

God has put it into their hearts to accomplish his purpose...
God never wastes a hurt
 II Corinthians 1:3-4 (LB)
God... wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does he do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them the same help and comfort God has given us!

Church service: 

I feel like for the first time God is lighting my path due to my willingness to serve Him. I am starting to see the truth as I look for it, instead of relying on other Christians for the answers in which I seek. Forty pages into "The Case for Christ" I see the evidence pour out before me to which I cannot deny. This happened at church today as well, With John "Free" Freeman's sermon on God's differentiation of light and darkness written in the Bible and the foreshadowing of Christ's death. 

Darkness is defined in the bible by:

• evil
• sin 

•  Exodus 12:12-13 Blood shed on the doors for sins- The angel of death
• “On that same night I will pass through Egypt and strike down every firstborn of both people and animals, and I will bring judgment on all the gods of Egypt. I am the LORD. ¹³ The blood will be a sign for you on the houses where you are, and when I see the blood, I will pass over you. No destructive plague will touch you when I strike Egypt.

• judgment
• The old testament- The plague of Darkness Exodus 10:21-23
• Then the LORD said to Moses, “Stretch out your hand toward the sky so that darkness spreads over Egypt—darkness that can be felt.” So Moses stretched out his hand toward the sky, and total darkness covered all Egypt for three days. No one could see anyone else or move about for three days. Yet all the Israelites had light in the places where they lived.

• chaos

• Old Testament- Genesis 1:1-3 
• In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.

I once believed Jesus crying out to God was out of abandonment, but rather, Jesus was referencing the old testament's fulfillment that would come with Jesus's death (Christ had not been close to birth when this prophesy was made). By referencing the old testament, he is telling us why he had to die- because God is holy and sins separate us like the curtain between the ark of the covenant (explained below) and the people.

New testament- Matthew 27:45-46

Now from the sixth hour darkness fell upon all the land until the ninth hour. And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" that is, "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?" 

Old testament Psalm 22:1 

"My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?".  Jesus quoted Psalm in order to draw attention to the fact that He was fulfilling it there on the cross.   

 Old testament- before Christ-Psalm 22:1b-8,11-18

why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?

 ²O my God, I cry in the day time, but thou hearest not; and in the night season, and am not silent.

 ³But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.

 ⁴Our fathers trusted in thee: they trusted, and thou didst deliver them.

 ⁵They cried unto thee, and were delivered: they trusted in thee, and were not confounded.

 ⁶But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people.

 ⁷All they that see me laugh me to scorn: they shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying,

 ⁸He trusted on the LORD that he would deliver him: let him deliver him, seeing he delighted in him. 

 ^...

¹¹Be not far from me; for trouble is near; for there is none to help.

 ¹²Many bulls have compassed me: strong bulls of Bashan have beset me round.

 ¹³They gaped upon me with their mouths, as a ravening and a roaring lion.

 ¹⁴I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint: my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels.

 ¹⁵My strength is dried up like a potsherd; and my tongue cleaveth to my jaws; and thou hast brought me into the dust of death.

 ¹⁶For dogs have compassed me: the assembly of the wicked have inclosed me: they pierced my hands and my feet.

 ¹⁷I may tell all my bones: they look and stare upon me.

 ¹⁸They part my garments among them, and cast lots upon my vesture. 

New testament- as it happened
Multiple accounts

• Matthew 27:45-51

• From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”). When some of those standing there heard this, they said, “He’s calling Elijah.” Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink. The rest said, “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if Elijah comes to save him.”And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split 
• Luke 23:44-45
  

• It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. 

• These two verse say that the light failed in the middle of the day (noon) for 3 hours until Christ called out to God. Due to the passover taking place on the full moon of spring, there was no chance that there was a natural eclipse. With darkness chaos ensued and fear that Jesus may have gotten away made the authorities anxious.
• The second verse indicates the veil of the temple was torn top down at Jesus's call out to God.

A little background on the curtain that was torn:

• only the highest priest was allowed into the room behind the curtain. 
• The ark contained the ten commandments written on the tablets
• The room had a curtain 15 feet by 15 feet and would have been impossible to tear from top to bottom by a human, and even so would have resulted in death by God in doing so in exposure to the ark
• It was custom to even have a rope around the high priest's ankle when he went behind the curtain, just incase God was displeased with him and was killed they could drag the body out.

Leviticus 16:2

² The LORD said to Moses: “Tell your brother Aaron that he is not to come whenever he chooses into the Most Holy Place behind the curtain in front of the atonement cover on the ark, or else he will die. For I will appear in the cloud over the atonement cover. 

In summary word for word from Free's powerpoint:

• Jesus lived a life that we can relate to and we can be inspired to respond obediently before God.
• Jesus died a death we cannot relate to and so we can be inspired to respond humbly before God.
• I am sorry, Forgive me, I will trust you

I'm back! Revelation 11 and The Case for Christ

As those who read my blog regularly may have noticed, I haven't written in a week. This saddens me and I realize my lack of doing so has diminished my spirits.
Today I received two books in the mail, one called Peace Child, which I bought for my friend, and one called The Case for Christ, which is a New York Times Best Seller. Its quite compelling how the author is a Journalist who's wife became a Christian and he was forced to reevaluate the case for Christ noting that, a lot of skepticism kept him from initially seeing the evidence for Christ's existence. Once an athiest, he became willing to explore the beliefs, the history, and all the evidence leading up to Christ's existence as the son of God.
Friday, I had an alcoholic beverage with my coworkers and I realized drinking alcohol wasn't worth it. Even without drunkenness or disorderly behavior, the depression that ensues the day after opposes the natural spunk Jesus has given me. So, hopefully as of Sat 4/9, I will no longer even be a social drinker. While the thought is somewhat depressing since I kind of like the taste and would consider myself far from the realms of "needing it" in my life in terms of addiction, I'd have to admit that I no longer associate pleasure with alcohol, but rather its an acquired taste that I could live without. Jesus is my life, my hope, and my happiness. Through Him I am everything I could ever hope to be.
Now onto Revelation 11...
Instructions to John:

• Measure the temple and altar of God, excluding the outer court that will be trampled with Gentiles for 42 months
• Two witnesses will be appointed to prophesy for 1,260 days in sackcloth

• ” ⁴ They are “the two olive trees” and the two lampstands, and “they stand before the Lord of the earth.” ⁵⁶ They have power to shut up the heavens so that it will not rain during the time they are prophesying; and they have power to turn the waters into blood and to strike the earth with every kind of plague as often as they want.

• If anyone tries to harm them, fire comes from their mouths and devours their enemies. This is how anyone who wants to harm them must die.

• After their testimony is over, the Abyss will attack and kill them
• Their bodies will be gloated over in the great city square where their Lord was crucified (Sodom and Egypt)
• They will be refused burial from every nation
• After 3.5 days they will return to life and be called from God to return to Heaven.
• At that hour an earthquake would collapse a tenth of the city killing 7,000 with the survivors giving glory in fear and terror to the God of Heaven

• At the sound of the 7th angel's trumpet, loud voices in heaven said:

   “The kingdom of the world has become
   the kingdom of our Lord and of his Messiah,
   and he will reign for ever and ever.”

 ¹⁶ And the twenty-four elders, who were seated on their thrones before God, fell on their faces and worshiped God, ¹⁷ saying:

   “We give thanks to you, Lord God Almighty,
   the One who is and who was,
because you have taken your great power
   and have begun to reign.
¹⁸ The nations were angry,
   and your wrath has come.
The time has come for judging the dead,
   and for rewarding your servants the prophets
and your people who revere your name,
   both great and small—
and for destroying those who destroy the earth.”

 ¹⁹ Then God’s temple in heaven was opened, and within his temple was seen the ark of his covenant. And there came flashes of lightning, rumblings, peals of thunder, an earthquake and a severe hailstorm.

 I liked the last sentence a lot because it revealed the Lord our God has the ark of the covenant in his temple.

The Skull Hill- No one is beyond redemption

 Noel Heikkinen's sermon today was awesome. He brought a lot of great things to light regarding anyone's ability to receive redemption, including the Christian who's walked away, the murderer, and the slanderer. In Noel's words: "You don't have to cleanse yourself to come to Him." I think that's one of the greatest messages of all.

If you're any bit like myself or William Cowper, you'd know that following Christ requires a "continuous trust" 

There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel’s veins;

And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.

Lose all their guilty stains, lose all their guilty stains;

And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.

The dying thief rejoiced to see that fountain in his day;

And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.

Washed all my sins away, washed all my sins away;

And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.

What my church growing up failed to tell me about William Cowper, is that he wanted to commit suicide. He knew there was nothing "right" about it, and that was the only thing keeping him from settling on the easy way out. We are reminded by the hymns of sadness that he wrote that rejoicing in Christ is the only thing that  can truly give us joy. See more about William Cowper here:
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/t/f/tfountfb.htm
Everyone struggles with sin. But Jesus Christ, the perfect son of God went through 6 trials, was found innocent, and was still crucified because the people wanted to kill him for "blaspheming that he was God." Jesus Christ healed men and women on Earth while he was alive, and said "your sins have been forgiven" when he did so. He was able to do this because he WAS the son of God, and would be killed to become our sins on the cross.
Mark 2:7 “Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?” 

In Matthew 5:44 Jesus says:
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
And as Jesus hung from the cross at Skull Hill being killed innocently,

 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34

Noel Heikkinen compared our sin to radioactivity, what's in the water in Japan that is causing people to thirst to death. God can't even drink the water containing the sin figuratively speaking, because it is so awful. So, Christ took it on himself bearing the sin of the world without complaint but rather by praying for the persecutor at his death.
As Erwin Lutzer said:

God's searing holiness demands an infinite penalty.

AW Pink wrote:

Sin is always sin in the sight of God, whether we are conscious of it or not

It is beyond ugly to see us justifying sin and making our own way through life. Even as Jesus spoke in Luke 23:34 above, another man being hung on a cross for his own wrongs next to Christ was forgiven due to his belief in Jesus' words. Christ promised a place in Heaven for him (Luke 23:43)
Charles Spurgeon wrote:

The thief was our Lord's last  companion on earth and his first companion at the gates of paradise.

 And lastly, a verse from the old testament before the coming of Jesus Christ:

Isaiah 53:12

Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
   and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
   and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
   and made intercession for the transgressors.
See rivchurch.com for today's sermon podcast.
artwork at: http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=calvary#/d1bz61n