In a perfect world...

My friends have said,

• why don't you ever talk about your problems? Your life must be perfect.

I personally interpret this as them believing it is true, that they assume that it is true, that nothing I can teach them is applicable to their problems.

Others say,

• nothing good happens to me. My life is horrible. The only reason I am still standing is because of this, or that.

• Nothing good happens to me, so this can't be happening.

My friend who I'll leave unnamed explained it this way

• "We each deal with different things in different ways. I wish you the best of luck really" 

Another friend explained it

• "Its really no big deal. Different strokes for different folks. I have my beliefs that work for me and you have yours that work for you :)"

I'm not going to deny the fact that people don't see what I suffer through, that my trust isn't always in the right place, and that I TOO am intimidated by other Christians who's lives seem flawless. But what example would we be setting living for Christ if our flaws were blatantly obvious for all to see? 
Personally, I agree and disagree with the last statement. I find the best speakers the one's that I can relate to, the one's that share their burdens and show how God got them through each battlefield. That's why people who have had 360 life changes become motivational speakers... because their lives have to be relatively worse than ours, don't they?


When I speak faith to people, faith in Jesus Christ, I am exposing myself, my heart. Every time I stand up against someone for Christ, I am hoping to see change that gives me the strength to continue. Giving more than people want to hear stresses me out, but when was Jesus not stressed for us? Didn't he suffer through every trial for us? Jesus was a gift to us, but do we ever look at our lives as a trial of faith for Him?


I, like everyone else, can live every day believing I am not good enough. I, like everyone else, can mope about leaving everyone I love for a career. But does that change anything? No, it just adds to the stress. When I lean on God, I am fearless. 


I know from experience that I hate when people say... Satan is manipulating you, but really, if you looked at every choice you made, how many of them would Jesus have made to the same end?

1 Peter 1:6-7

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, that proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

If you think about your past experiences, what has or hasn't bettered you? What has or hasn't made you stronger? Is it easier for you to block out God and trust no one?

 Matthew 13:14 You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes.Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears,understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.


In Kay Arthur's book "Lord Only You Can Change Me" (which, admittedly I was lent over a year ago and am finally getting to the end of it because I too, didn't want to hear what it had to say because it is sometimes easier to resist change and stay angry) I have learned so much of the sufferings of Christians. 

Haralan Popov wrote about communism terrorizing believers in attempt of destroying the Christian faith:

"As the fires of persecution grew, they burned away the chaff and stubble and left only the golden wheat. The suffering purified the church and united the believers in a wonderful spirit of brotherly love such as must have existed in the early church. Petty differences were put aside. Brethren loved and cared for one another and carried one another's burdens. There were no nominal or 'lukewarm' believers" (Popov in Arthur 217)

So, I might ask, why can't we lean on each other and share each other's burdens? Why do we fight to compete instead of embracing each other? Why do we have to do it alone? 
The answer is, 
We don't have to do it alone. But when we suffer our own grievances instead of giving them over to God, we can't embrace our sisters and brothers in Christ who need us most. What if God allowed Satan to take away from us the one thing that was holding us together? Who would we lean on then?

This is my prayer...

Ephesians 3:16-21

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,  may have power, together with all the Lord’s people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Wednesday NT90X

Wednesday May 18 

Matthew 10:16-17

Jesus to his disciples "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. Be on your guard; you will be handed over to the local councils and be flogged in synagogues.

Matthew 11:16-17

To what can I compare this generation? They are like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling out to others: 

'We played the pipe for you, 

and you did not dance;

we sang a dirge,

and you did not mourn.' (This is me without the spirit)

Matthew 11:20

Then Jesus began to denounce the towns in which most of his miracles had been performed, because they did not repent

  ^11:25-30 At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure. 

“All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

NT90X Verses that move

Monday May 16

Matthew 7:21  

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only those who do the will of my Father who is in heaven." 

Tuesday May 17

Matthew 8:3 

Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy. 4 Then Jesus said to him, “See that you don’t tell anyone.

Matthew 9:16-17

“No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.”

NT90X, Fish with the spiritual water of life

Its been nearly a month. It's been since Easter that I have had anything to say. Everyday since school got out I've been mopey. Sleeping till forever, not relying on God for my strength in packing and this move. I've decided to do NT90X , reading the entire new testament in 90 days over the summer. I think my lack of willingness to do this before has kept me from trusting fully. I have chosen a few verses every day to post  from the reading. Since I didn't start posting verses on here, I will copy what I posted from facebook here. I have chosen verses to make people think. To understand. The Bible is written for all to understand and believe, but the verses are only fully understood in context, so I recommend you read the New Testament, Matthew- Revelation, with me, in your own time or over the summer as I am. The old testament defines the prophesy of Jesus to come, the New Testament is Jesus fullfilling the Old Testament's prophesy.

Sunday May 15 

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” Matthew 4:19

Following reading Matthew 1-4 Monday night (a day late) I had a dream. My good friend Cory and I, who recently graduated from Plant Pathology at MSU, wanted to be student teachers at a school. I inquired through talking to the Principal of the school and Cory talked to a teacher directly. The irony was this was an internship position. Neither of us would get paid. we wanted to serve. Cory, who talked to a teacher directly, got in, the principal wanted nothing to do with me. I decided to inquire at a private school and got in.
I had a dream that my neighbor's mother became a teacher at that school and I was going to be her assistant. The first day, she wanted me to share the story of Jesus. I decided to bring in my pet fish.
Upon entering the school, I realized my once full tank was out of water. My fish were hardly alive.  I remember in the dream how easy it seemed to talk about Jesus who I loved so much.
This was my analogy for class.
"Children, we are fishers for men as Jesus's disciples. Men are like fish, without the spiritual water given to us by Jesus, we die. My fish, without water, were close to death. This is our spiritual condition without Christ. Today I will give you each one of my fish, to keep on your desk, to feed to livelyhood. With renewed spiritual water, we can bring those around us to the life we have found through the spiritual water- just like the fish did."